Day + 30 -- feeling sad

I didn't get to the hospital until late this morning; I stayed at the hotel to do our laundry. It felt good to sleep in a little.

When I got there, Doug said that OT had come and he did some arm exercises with light weights. He did not get a shower which surprised me. I will make sure he gets one tomorrow. None of the rooms have showers -- there are two shower rooms and a nurse or therapist must help patients. Makes me nervous to let Doug use a communal shower room but I discussed my concern with the transplant team and was asssured that Spalding understands transplant issues and cleans/disinfects the shower rooms well. I intend to check up on that.

Spalding is starting Doug from scratch, with their own rules. At the transplant unit of P/SL, I was allowed and encouraged to help Doug transfer from bed to chair and bathroom, once OT had supervised and saw that I knew how to help him safely. At Spalding, I am not allowed to help him with anything yet. Doug cannot get out of bed for any reason without calling for the nurse. And if he does get out of bed, the nurse said they will set the bed alarm which senses weight (or lack of it) and alarms will ring at the nurses station. I know they are putting safety first, but both Doug and I find this demoralizing. It feels very confining. Not much is going to happen on Sunday, but on Monday I hope they will agree to at least observe me and make a decision to let me help him to the bathroom.

In the afternoon Doug had a session with PT. He walked "around the square" using the walker and did well. Adam, the PT guy, had Doug do some leg exercises and climb the portable stairs, with a few rest breaks.

Doug is feeling sad and overwhelmed. He asked for "happy pills" and the PA prescribed an anti-depressant. I am glad he asked for something - he certainly has reason. I feel sad too. I am hoping that starting Monday, the increased activity and sense of achievement will help. Tomorrow, Sunday, might be a long day. We will just take it one step at a time.