Doug's Bio

Douglas Peter Scott, 74, died September 9, 2020 in his home after a 13 year battle with cancer. 

He was born in 1946 in Omaha, Nebraska to Ernest James and Aurelia Scott, and was the second of two sons.

 

Doug served in the Air Force during the Vietnam war. He was a radio repairman based in Thailand. He never drew attention to his military service, feeling that attention should go to those who saw action.  

After the war he owned a snow removal and underground sprinkler business for a short time. He worked many years for the City of Omaha, mostly in waste water management. 

Doug’s hobbies were tinkering in his garage workshop and collecting and sometimes inventing ‘gadgets’. Doug never did anything halfway. He even rigged up an LED headlight on his walker. 

After he and Pat retired, they sold their house and furniture to become full-time RVers for several years before settling in Buena Vista.

Shortly after coming to Buena Vista in 2008 Doug was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma, an incurable cancer of the bone marrow. Doug believed the cancer was a blessing, because the impact brought him back to God after years of secular living. 

Doug had a stem cell transplant and many different kinds of treatment, both pills and infusions. He rarely complained no matter what he was going through. He took advantage of his remissions and endured the hard times when the cancer mutated and the current treatment would fail. Then on to the next drug combination. He grew fond of his medical team, and they of him. 

He had a quiet acceptance of his cancer. He would say “It is what it is”.

Doug was a man of few words but a keen observer; he loved to make people laugh. 

Doug was preceded in death by his parents.

He is survived by his wife Pat, brother Jeff, stepson Kelly McGuire, daughter in law Jamee and grandchildren Ryan, Sean, Brendan, Sarah and Taylor.

In lieu of flowers, memorial donations may be made to Clearview Care Team or the HRRMC hospice. 

The End, and a New Beginning

 Doug enrolled in hospice on June 29, and he died on September 9. 

His last weeks were very difficult, and the last days were excruciating. The drugs were making him unable to respond at all. So we - hospice nurse and me - tried cutting down the dosage by half. But that caused Doug to become so agitated and restless that we had to increase the doses of morphine and haldol. His poor body could not be comfortable in that hospital bed no matter how much I tried repositioning him. My dear neighbors, pastor Tom, and anyone who came over would help me change him and prop him up with pillows. Doug became unresponsive. I used oral swabs to moisten his mouth. 

The last three days I prayed for God to release him from the agony and take him up to heaven. On the day he died, the hospice nurse was here. She had stopped in to check on him and was about to leave when she looked at him one more time and told me that she was going to stay and do some paperwork at our table. I was standing at Doug's side when his breathing became very irregular. Finally he took one last breath at 3:00 p.m., then no more. The nurse came over and said that he was gone. 

My first reaction was relief that his suffering was over. Joy that Doug was now in the loving arms of Jesus,  with no more suffering. This world is not our true home. Now Doug is in his forever home with God. Praise the Lord!

I was bone-tired. Our pastor came right away, and my very kind neighbor stayed with me too, until the crematory came to take away Doug's body. Pastor Zach made a phone call and got a date for Doug's memorial service. My neighbor helped me make the necessary phone calls to notify friends and family. The hospice nurse made the official calls to the coroner and crematory. 

Kelly and Jamee, my son and much loved daughter in law, got here as soon as they could and set up their camper in my driveway so both they and I would have a bit of privacy. They have been so helpful. 

Doug made up a notebook for me a couple of years ago; it has all kinds of information that I will need - things I need to do.  He was always thinking and planning ahead, trying to make it easier for me.  On the cover of the notebook he had written this: As I Live It Is By Grace. When I Die It Will Be In Glory.

The Celebration of Life service at church was held Saturday 9-19-20. It was live streamed for those who could not be there. We had a slide show of many photos of Doug over the years, with music. Both Pastor Zach and Pastor Tom spoke. Kelly got up and read aloud the memory cards that people had filled out - descriptions or memories of Doug in one or two words. Here are a few: Funny and warm, Tinkerer, Innovative, Never complained, Blessed, Brave, Fixer, Courageous, Generous, Humorous in a quiet way, Heroic, Doug's laugh, Loyal friend. I am so proud of my son; speaking about Doug was difficult to do. The first song was "I'll Fly Away"; the second and third were "I Need Thee Every Hour", and "Great is Thy Faithfulness". 

It was very emotional but it was a true celebration, not a funeral. 

Doug's ashes will be interred at Pikes Peak National Veteran's Cemetery on October 2 in Colorado Springs.  I picked that date because that would have been our 42nd wedding anniversary. He will have full military honors. 

I have so many emotions going on, and I am still getting rested from being exhausted for so long. Half of me is gone. But I am so blessed at the same time. Taking care of Doug was the hardest thing I have ever done. But I am so glad he was able to stay at home. 

My little dogs are a comfort. They have been stressed too. My rest and recovery will take time but God has blessed me with many friends who are ready to help me whenever I need it. 

Love to all. 

"You light a lamp for me. The Lord, my God, lights up my darkness. Psalm 18:28

"God Himself will be with them. He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever."  Revelation 21:3-4

Stopped Eating

I’m writing this as Doug sleeps. I got a good night’s sleep last night because our son Kelly and his wife Jamee stayed overnight last night. They were a huge help! 

With the help of Pastor Tom, I have people coming more often in the afternoons so I can take a quick nap. Even a short nap helps. 

Long-time friends from Nebraska were here for a few days. They came to see Doug, and at that time he was able to talk better. I know he enjoyed seeing them. They also told me to go take a nap while they watched him. 

An extremely kind neighbor has put himself on standby to help me if I need to change Doug or reposition him. He even stayed at the house overnight once so I could sleep! A different neighbor gave me his cell phone to call if I need help. Such people are a blessing indeed. 

Doug has stopped eating. Drinking was becoming difficult for him, so hospice recommended a thickener to add to liquids to make it easier to swallow. Even then, he doesn’t want but just a few sips. I’m using a syringe to give him water. 

He still tries to climb out of bed so needs constant watching. Most of the time he sleeps but he does have times of agitation. It is a big effort for him to talk. Many times he seems to be sleeping, he is listening to what’s going on around him. When I talk directly to him, sometimes he opens his eyes, but often not. He does understand what we say though. 

Pastor Tom came last night for a short time. Kelly, Jamee and our grandson Brendan were here then so they enjoyed meeting him. Pastor Tom prayed over Doug and read some scripture verses that were comforting, and reminded us all of God’s promises about all the new and glorious things he will have in heaven. Including a new body; legs that work, and no more pain. What joy that will be! 

But first the hard work, as the body fights to stay here even though Doug is not afraid and trusts God’s promises. 

Doug’s breathing changed yesterday morning. He has periods of about 10 seconds when his breathing stops (apnea), then it starts up again. This is to be expected. I called hospice to report this, and one of the nurses came out to check him. It is a normal part of the dying process. Doug’s heart is still strong. 

The dogs are a bit stressed - they know something is going on. They want to jump up to snuggle with Doug but we have to block them from jumping on the bed. They want to sit on daddy’s chest - not allowed now. Thanks to a lovely neighbor and the 13 year old sweet  daughter of friends, they get regular walks. That’s a tremendous help. 

The dying process is normal, but it is not easy. It is so hard to watch my husband go through all this. 

God does provide help, day by day, hour by hour. 

Proverb 3, verse 5:

Trust the Lord with your whole heart. 

Do not depend on your own understanding. 

Love to all. 

Update -

My dear friends who live next door just told me they are coming to spend the night tonight! What a blessing.

And another friend - a nurse who started hospice in our valley years ago, came over. She has a wealth of experience and talking to her really is helping me. 

Eating less now, home from respite

Doug came home from hospice respite this morning. The EMTs brought him in the ambulance and a hospice nurse came at the same time. She was very nice and showed me a few things - like propping up the urinal just right and leaving it there under the covers for as long as Doug would stay still. It worked! At least one time. 

Before he left the hospital, one of the nurses tried to put in a foley (urinary) catheter. She wasn’t successful. Doug said it hurt - a lot! I can see evidence of that. I had thought if Doug had a catheter it would make life easier for everyone. But that must have been awful - I don’t blame him for refusing. 

He is still hurting from the fall. I’ve given him morphine  already. He is restless and forgets that he cannot get out of bed. He turns over and tries to get out of bed. He throws his covers off, then gets cold. And he thinks he has to pee, but he already did. 

If this is too much detail, feel free to stop reading. This is real life, and it “ain’t pretty”. 

I’m hoping he will take a nap; every time I think he’s snoozing, he asks for something - sometimes he’s only half awake. 

I’m glad he’s home, where he wants to be. But it’s exhausting to take care of him. Maybe this is what it’s like to have triplets.  Never a moment’s rest. I will have to learn to nap in 5 minutes increments. Alone, I can’t do this. I’m trusting God to empower me, day by day, moment by moment. 

Most of the time Doug is in his right mind, enough to carry on a short conversation. Other times he forgets why he can't get out of the bed!

Paid caregivers must be in high demand. I’ve found two good ones, but they can’t start for a while.  One can give me three days a week starting next week. The other is taking care of a relative until Sept 15. 

I have a good friend who lives about a half hour away. She is a retired RN and is very knowledgeable and compassionate. She is my Go-to person that I can call if I get in a pickle; I know she would come. 

I’m writing this on my iPad so I can sit close by Doug. Gotta go. I’m back - he was trying to get a leg over the side. 

I’m finding that a gentle massage with lotion on his legs and arms helps to calm him. 

I can’t imagine how uncomfortable it must be to lie day and night in the bed, unable to even sit on the edge of the bed. I try to reposition him with pillows too. 

He’s resting now. Hallelujah!

Doug does recognize people that he knows well.  Yesterday friends he’s known for over 50 years came to see him. I think that brightened his day a little. He was grouchy because he wanted to come home! So if anyone wants to stop by and give a quick hello, you are welcome. Just text first. 

We have such marvelous neighbors. I cannot even begin to tell all the things they do for us. We are getting cheeseburgers tonight - Doug’s favorite (although he is eating only a bit he will enjoy the taste.) 

And friends - I opened my front  door this morning and there were a dozen beautiful yellow roses! Our fridge and freezer are close to full. 

 My verse for today and days to come:

“Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be discouraged for I am your God. 

I will help you and strengthen you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.”

Isaiah 41:10

Another fall; Confined to bed

Things have gone downhill quickly. August 23 Doug fell in the bathroom at 4:30 am. He was using the walker. I called hospice and they sent out a nurse but I also called the squad to come pick him off the floor. He bumped his head so has lacerations but nothing serious there. His left hip has a huge bruise and is sore. 

The EMT guys are good with hospice - they understand they are just to help hospice patients off the floor and not transport to hospital. 

Doug is full time in a hospital bed now. We have it in the living room so I can watch him. No more transfers to wheelchair. He has no strength in legs and is a major risk for another fall. 

Doug is not handling his confinement to the bed well. He does not remember the fall, so he doesn’t understand why he can’t get out of bed. I tell him it’s because his legs can’t hold him up now. Then he wants me to put him in the wheelchair and take him to the commode - but that isn’t allowed because he would need to stand for the transfer to the chair. He can’t bear weight or he would fall again. He is really rattled. 

He HATES having to use the diaper! I don’t blame him. He throws a leg over the bed rail and says he’s going to walk. He gets very agitated. I have to be right beside him to tell him no, we can’t. He gets mad. He still has enough strength that he could climb out of bed, but he would fall immediately. 

Sometimes I fib and say “wait until the nurse gets here”. Or if he’s really really upset, I have to give him Haldol to calm him. This is ordered by hospice. 

I feel so bad being the bad guy. 

This is not the Doug I know but I still love him. 

This is not death with dignity, when your wife has to change your diapers. And he gets so frustrated and doesn’t remember why. Poor guy. Guess I’m not handling it well either. 

Today Doug was much calmer. The nurse came and he told her he was going to walk. She said that's not very likely but possible. So Doug and I will do some simple leg exercises while he’s in bed. We can hold out hope and do something positive. 

Today Doug was able to joke a little about the diapers: When he was wet, he called out to me “Cleanup in aisle nine.” When it was the other, he said “Cleanup in the basement.” So we are able to joke a little - attitude is everything. Much better - Doesn’t change the situation but sure helps a lot. 

I’m going to get a paid private caregiver to help me, probably for nights so I can sleep. Tomorrow I will interview a retired nurse who is recommended. I also have several other names of caregivers that friends have used. I won’t have 24/7 help but even a few hours would be good. 

There is also an option of using respite care, paid by Medicare. It is limited to five days/nights in a Medicare approved facility. But I need long term help at home. I'm exhausted. 

I’m glad our son and daughter in law were able to spend time with us just before this.

Our dog Nikko spends most of his time laying on the bed as close as he can get to Doug. He loves his daddy. He jumps up by himself. Our other dog Pippa spends her time on her own bed. She's also too little to get up on the bed. 

This is very hard. A lot of people are offering help in different ways. Many thanks for each of you. 

Love to all.

We know from Jesus' life that there's purpose to our pain. God doesn't waste anything, including suffering. He doesn't always remove us from trials, because He plans to use them.

Even if God's plans for our lives aren't what we hoped for, learning to trust God is part of His good plan.

Megan Fate Marshman, Encouragement for Today

Weaker now

 Over the last ten days we have seen changes. Doug has lost strength in his legs. He can't go up or down steps, even using the walker. We found that out when we were at our neighbors, on their deck. He would have fallen if our neighbor hadn't been right there to help him. 

He is able to get around the house with the walker, so that is good. A good friend from church brought over two kinds of wheelchairs to loan us. One is a lightweight 'transport chair' and the other is a regular type. And we now have a ramp down into the garage, so we have a way for him to get outside. Our church is loaning us the ramp - aluminum and not too steep. Two friends delivered and installed it for us. Our son and daughter in law had already come and helped me clean out part of the garage to make room for the ramp. 

 I wanted to try going for a 'stroll' in the neighborhood a couple days ago, so Doug humored me and got into the regular wheelchair. I backed him down the ramp and away we went. Our street has a slight slope to it; we don't even notice when walking or driving. But pushing a wheelchair is different. We felt every rock and incline. We didn't get as far as I intended. I was concerned that maybe I wouldn't be able to push him all the way up the ramp. He asked me to walk to the mailbox (not far away) while he waited in the garage. When I got back - less than two minutes later - the wheelchair was empty and Doug was gone! He had walked up the ramp using the walker! Smart man - he said it wasn't hard and he was careful. I was so relieved to find him in the house and no harm done. Now I need to practice pushing the chair up the ramp with some weight in it. I'm not as strong as I thought! Our neighbor says he will come over if I wimp out going up the ramp.

Doug has maintained his usual good attitude. He is amazing. We have amazing friends too. Some have brought food - and beautiful homemade bread. A few days ago a friend who is a professional violinist called and asked if she could come over and play for us. Of course! She had it all worked out - she was on the patio - Doug and I were on the deck. And a few neighbors came over and sat in lawn chairs to enjoy the music. All with social distancing and masks.  Noelle played a few hymns, some classical and some bluegrass. She played for a whole hour and even took requests. What a wonderful time it was! 

 We had a mystery gift too - yesterday when I walked out the front door I discovered a gorgeous display of art on the sidewalk - not chalk but an inscribed rock surrounded with marbles arranged just so. Each marble has a rose painted on it. The rock says "God's Love is surrounding you!" It is a sweet encouragement. I finally found out who did it, after everyone claimed to know nothing. A dear friend who is an artist, and her daughter. We didn't hear a thing, not even the dogs. 

Doug has been eating well and is maintaining his weight. He is having ongoing trouble with his eyes; he does listen to audiobooks. He never complains. The hospice nurse comes once a week. 

God is giving us the grace to live one day at a time. 

I'm closing with the words on a card from friends:

"Five things God wants You to Remember in Trying Times - You're never, ever alone. Nothing takes Him by surprise. When you're weak, He is strong. He's the God of new beginnings. His love never gives up on us."

Blessed with friends

Nothing dramatic has happened lately, and that's good. We are not bored. We have plenty of routine things to do. 

We have seen signs of God’s love in small ways:  

• cinnamon rolls left on our porch, 
• an elderly neighbor bringing us flowers and a sweet card,
• friends calling to see how they can help or just to say “hi”. 
• Friends stopping by to show us their new dog. Our dog Nikko was sure it was an intruder and sounded the alarm rudely. 
• Muffins and soup brought to us by a friend. 
• Books to read. In Doug’s case audiobooks from the library. 
• The rain we have had lately! I didn’t have to water, and the plants enjoyed the rain. 
• Friends bringing fresh veggies from their garden. 
• We have a volunteer blue spruce coming up. This is its third year. The first year I almost pulled it up but then decided to wait and watch to see if it would survive. Looks like it will grow up. 
• Our Pastor Tom and his visits and prayers.

We appreciate everyone. God has blessed us so richly with friends. 

I have been able to leave the house to go grocery shopping, walk the dogs and enjoy the sunshine. Doug is able to get in the car by going out the front door, but he says he’s not interested in going anywhere. I know that can be a sign of depression, and he is taking an antidepressant. But he is content to stay home. He’s not having much pain at all, just the intestinal issues. He sleeps later and takes a nap after lunch. 

Hospice has been active - one week we had four hospice visits. Nurse, chaplain, social worker, and an aide who just dropped off an item. The dogs are sure that everyone is coming just to see them! Three out of four hospice workers we’ve met so far are dog lovers. At one visit the chaplain spent most of her time petting Nikko. Maybe good for both of them. 

Thanks to hospice, we now have a toilet seat with arms that makes it easier to get up. Very helpful. 

Doug has been using the walker a bit less. He still gets dizzy if he bends over or gets out of bed too fast but he’s careful. 

Doug has, for a long time, been showing me things I will need to know how to do. 

A couple days ago I changed the lightbulb in the shower. I had to use the stepladder. Not my favorite thing to do but it went okay. Next time I use the ladder maybe I will go beyond two rungs, ha ha. 

Love to all. 

This is from Jesus Calling by Sarah Young:

“Hope is a golden cord connecting you to heaven. This cord helps you hold your head up high, even when multiple trials are buffeting you. I never leave your side, and I never let go of your hand. But without the cord of hope, your head may slump and your feet may shuffle as you journey uphill with Me. Hope lifts your perspective from your weary feet to the glorious view you can see from the high road. 

You are reminded that the road we’re traveling together is ultimately a highway to heaven. When you consider this radiant destination, the roughness or smoothness of the road becomes much less significant. I am training you to hold in your heart a dual focus: My continual presence and the hope of heaven.”